The language we use in everyday life both represents and impacts how we experience our world. We attempt to capture thoughts, ideas and to describe what we see around us using words. Inevitably, things get "lost in translation". We lose information through "Generalisations", "Deletion" of information and "Cognitive Distortion". Distortion is where some aspects of ideas and experiences are given more weight and focus than others. We all do this both consciously and unconsciously, and how we do this provides pointers to our underlying beliefs about ourselves, others and the world.
Here is a list of the Top 10 Cognitive Distortions:
Which of these do you do? Check the areas below that you might like to discuss with your Life Coach.
Have you ever looked at an object on a wall long enough and notice that everything surrounding it starts to disappear? This is a common experience that not only works with phisical objects buth with emotional states as well. When you become overly steeped in your problems or negativity, you easily start to lose focus on the things are NOT BROKEN, which is the majority of your life. Make sure to take some time away from your issues. This will allow you to fill up up your tank and approach your goals more easily and effectively later.
The only way to find new things in your life is to first be lost. Let yourself go to unfamiliar places and you will find new paths. This takes vulnerability and guts, but in the end you will have more choices.
The scariest part of a roller coaster ride is being next in line. It is at that very moment that you can still walk away. Similar to counseling, the scariest part is making the call and coming in for the first time. Once you have made the commitment to begin the process, it not only gets easier but can also become enjoyable. Always remember that everything you do today was unfamiliar and scary at one time before.
Most people call for counseling when they are feeling stuck. Things are neither moving in a positive or negative direction. It is at this very moment that 2 things must take place. You must be willing to let go of the thing that is keeping you stuck and at the same time put some faith into something completely unfamiliar. I like to use the metaphor of Tarzan. He swings in the jungle from vine to vine and at any given moment he is holding a vine in one hand that supported him and he trusted, while in the other hand, he is holding a vine he never held before and is unfamiliar with. The only way for him to continue his journey forwards is to let go of the one that got him to that place and trust that something he never held before will support him in his journey. People are tremendous creates of habit, both good and bad ones. Change will only come from letting go of habits that you have become experts at and allowing yourself to do things differently and unfamiliar. In essence, you must trust yourself and know that for change to take place, you cannot be an expert in something you never experienced before. You must also be willing to put shame and guilt aside as the people who taught you these old behaviors are either people you loved or were a part of your upbringing. Change can always happen, if you let it.
Over the past 12 months you have had time to think and feel quite a bit. This is the year to take some chances and listen to the answers you already have. This is not a year of fear based behavior. It is a year for you to trust yourself and take those leaps of faith that you already know you want/need to take.
Your life is filled with roles, relationships and expectations. If you were to cut all of those external ties the only thing left is your pure core. It is you not as a parent, son/daughter, parent, friend, employee, student, etc. This is the year to identify who you are outside of all of those ties and get familiar with your core. It will make all of the external ties that much more functional and enjoyable. Listen to your gut, it usually has the most unedited and true answer. Pay attention to it and follow it without editing yourself.